Meet
the Flipsters
Conversations
on the Bridge |
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A Conversation with Byron
Katie
(The complete Flip interview, with only minor edits,
not found in the book)
Byron Katie (www.thework.com)
became severely depressed while in her thirties. Over
a ten-year period her depression deepened, and Katie
spent almost two years seldom able to leave her bed,
obsessing over suicide. Then one morning, from the
depths of despair, she experienced a life-changing
realization that her illness was based upon her perception.
This epiphany flipped her life.
TIME magazine has profiled Katie, calling her “a
visionary for the new millennium.” In March
2002, Harmony Books published Katie’s first
book, Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change
Your Life, co-written with renowned author/translator
Stephen Mitchell. Loving What Is has been translated
into twenty languages. Her second book, I Need Your
Love – Is That True?, was also a best-seller.
“I was depressed for more than a decade,”
Katie confesses, “and if I look back on it,
probably forty years. My self esteem was so low that
I didn’t believe I even deserved a bed to sleep
in. So I slept on the floor. One particular morning
as I lay on the floor asleep, a cockroach crawled
over my foot. I opened my eyes and in place of all
that darkness, rage, and confusion I’d known
was a joy that I can’t describe. What I suddenly
understood was this: When I believe my thoughts I
suffer, but when I question my thoughts I don’t
suffer. I’ve come to see that this is true for
every human being.
“In that moment I simply noticed the nature
of my thoughts when I no longer believed them. That
is a moment of truth – or a moment of clarity,
as I call it. And I think we all have them. We all
have these moments when we’re lucid. We begin
to see that the whole world is created through our
thoughts, and when we believe our thoughts we literally
project them on our material world. Once we begin
to question our stressful thoughts, we’re on
the way to heaven – happiness, that is. Isn’t
that what everything is for? We want health, balance,
and happiness.”
Then why is there so much unhappiness in many people’s
everyday experience? Katie suggests it has less do
to with unhappy circumstances than habitual thought
patterns. “Suffering is simply believing whatever
we think. The mind is prone to think ‘life isn’t
fair,’ and then not to question that assumption.
It immediately begins to only see in tunnel vision,
to only see and bring to mind all the proofs, pictures,
thoughts, stories - all the evidence that supports
the first assumption: Life is unfair. But by that
point, you may not be seeing what’s real at
all. I use the example of walking through the desert
and you see a snake. You jump back, your heart is
racing and you break out into a sweat before you look
again and notice there is no snake, just an old rope.
How could you have been so silly? Immediately, the
fear subsides and the laughter starts. That’s
an example of what questioning the mind does.
“For me, problems are no longer possible because
I see through them. I invite people to understand
that every snake is a rope, not just some of them.
There’s no exception to that in my life, so
I’m open to whatever happens next. For all I
know all hell could break lose. I look forward to
it.”
We asked Katie what the average person can do when
confronted with their own “snakes.” Her
process, which she calls The Work, is simple enough.
“We need to question what we believe. There
are four questions we can ask ourselves to investigate
a stressful belief. When we think a thought, what
should immediately arise along with that thought is
the question Is it true? The second question is a
more thorough version of that: Can I absolutely know
that it’s true? The third question shows cause
and effect: How do I react when I believe that thought?
And the fourth question brings us back to our origin:
Who would I be without that thought? And then I ask
people to turn the thought around. For example, if
‘Life isn’t fair’ is the belief
we’re questioning, then – turned around
– the thought might be ‘Life is fair.’
The turnaround is a way of experiencing the opposite
of what you believe and seeing that it is at least
as true. You’ll find these four questions and
the turnaround thought quite powerful in changing
your perceptions.”
We asked if Katie still has to stop herself from
thinking negative thoughts or remind herself to ask
the four questions. “I don’t try to stop
negative thoughts. I question my thoughts, but it
usually happens so fast now that I can see right through
them. It’s like meditation. I think a thought
and what immediately arises with that is the question,
‘Is it true?’ The process has become more
of an awareness or a realization than a conscious
question. It’s about waking up to reality. If
I happen to get stuck on something I just put the
stressful thoughts on paper, and there they are. They’re
stopped.
“We need to be present within each moment.
It’s insane not to, because right here, right
now is where we are. We suffer needlessly when we
believe things that aren’t true or fail to live
in the actual moment. Every life has some moments
of genuine pain. I’m not saying that pain doesn’t
hurt. When it hurts, it hurts, and that’s the
reality that we’re in. But so much of our suffering
is over pain that – if we let ourselves be conscious
of it – is already in our past. Likewise, all
of our fear is just anticipation of future pain…
that may or may not actually happen. When we anticipate
pain before it happens and dwell on it afterwards,
we’re piling pain on top of pain.
“The other approach is opening our arms and
our minds to what is. When we begin to see through
the things that aren’t true, we’re always
left in a kinder world. We’re filled with gratitude.
We find ourselves in a moment of grace. We discover
the beauty and the creativity of now. And in that
space, amazing things occur. A mind that’s free
to create can end wars. It can clean up the planet.
“I work with individual people. Over time,
I get to see those lives become kinder, and I get
to see the impact those people have on other people,
and I realize just how far reaching this is. So is
it bringing peace to the world? I would say, ‘Absolutely…
one peaceful human being at a time.’ There’s
no other place to begin.”
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The Flip, by Jared Rosen and David Rippe, illuminates
a clear path to a vibrant enlightened world where
millions of people already live and thrive. It describes
in vivid detail and real examples evidence of an upside
down world in decay and a Right Side Up world of authentic
beings bright with possibility.
The Flip is an owner’s manual for the twenty-first
century full of insights, conversations with recognized
experts, thought leaders, and visionaries, and actionable
exercises and tips you can use to begin your own personal
flip.
To read more about The Flip
and additional interviews from other luminaries, experts
and bestselling authors, please visit www.theflip.net
The Flip is available at your
local bookstore or online at
Amazon.com, Barnes
& Noble, Joseph-Beth,
and Borders.
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